One of my clients shared her thoughts on armor and fire, and has allowed me to share her story as this is something many of us turn to for protection in our lives (knowingly or unknowingly).
“Thank you for helping me put my armor and fire away, I don’t need it anymore. Since I was a child, I built a suit of armor fueled by anger and fire to protect myself from violence, being hurt, and tried to make a safe place for myself while living on a battlefield at home. I can see now, that I don't need to be wrapped in armor and fire to survive and live in this world. That time is over and I can allow myself to grow into who I am meant to be, see my worth, and know I am safe. Finally, I can remove myself from the battlefield. This is something I never felt for many years. I will keep both in my back pocket for moments that truly call for them, but they will no longer be the overriding strategy I turn to for protection. Thank you for helping me realize that I can create safety within myself, be at peace, and allow myself to grow through my internal courage, strength, wisdom, and appreciation for this life. I am grateful to receive your guidance on this journey to get from where I was to where I needed to be in life to finally thrive.”
We all have methods and strategies we use to protect ourselves that we developed when we were young, and we carry them with us through life (sometimes knowingly or unknowingly). Over time these morph into new forms as we progress through life. Some examples may be:
Putting up walls to not let people get too close, hiding emotions, or pretending nothing bothers us
Letting people get away with things or pretending you don’t see or care
Anger as a defense mechanism
Overachieving for acceptance at all costs
Trying to blend in with the crowd
People pleasing
Acting helpless to get attention, or temper tantrums to get our way
The list can go on and on. Our methods and strategies may work in the short term, but they can morph into mental prisons and overriding forces stifling and running our lives. Eventually, these strategies become ineffective in protecting us from guilt, shame, suffering, pain, society, family, relationships, fear, or any interpersonal moments we experience in life.
Initially this armor and fire protect our internal wounds we don't want the world to see. These could be violent or difficult childhoods, abuse, weakness, or trauma. In exchange for this "so-called" protection, the armor and fire push us to numb ourselves, turn off emotions, and become hardened to get by. We lose joy in life, lose being in the present, lose the zest for life, and unknowingly become ghost versions of ourselves wandering through this world. We lose a sense of purpose and meaning and are driven endlessly by the methods and strategies that get us through day-to-day life.
Some of my clients lost their spirit and lost true identity while still searching for quick fixes or easy ways out of circumstances they found themselves in. This loss surfaced in different forms in each of their lives. For some, it appeared as issues with finances, marriage, or relationships, and for others it appeared as dependencies, physical illness, mental illness, or addictions. One thing each client had in common was that they were searching for something outside of themselves to fix the issue or problem. A new car, new house, social media, booze, drugs, a new guru, fad diets, endless doctor visits, you name it… anything outside of themselves they could get their hands on to “rescue them.” They thought the answer was out there, instead of within themselves.
Easy fixes may work temporarily, but like a drug, easy fixes can come with side effects or consequences that can be devastating and life-altering.
Taking down the walls and releasing the strategies is not easy, as they have existed within us for so long and have been a part of our lives. They are familiar, comfortable, and known. Our pride and fear of being wrong keep these strategies going to repeat the cycle over and over, day after day, no matter how damaging the strategies become.
Sometimes it takes someone who can help us see the light, identify what is not working anymore in our lives, and allow us to see the possibility of finding a new path. Ultimately, we have to choose this new path for ourselves.
How strong are our ego and internal programs to keep us from realizing, accepting, and admitting that our old strategies and methods don’t work any longer?
Can we be accountable and honest for what has transpired in our lives?
Can we allow ourselves and accept guidance to get out from under these strategies?
These are all some big questions to face and consider.
When we are ready to release the armor and fire we have carried for so long, we are truly ready to make a shift in our lives. We don’t have to hit rock bottom or be on our death bed before we ask for help. Within each of us is the power, courage, and choice to find another path OR continue the downward spiral towards rock bottom and suffering.
If this resonates with you, I encourage you to reach out to break the cycle. Click on the button below to set up a connect session to find the guidance to release the armor and fire and shift your life to where you want and need it to be.
Thanks
~Alicia
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